Makali for my ride, Goodbye to my sweet Fred



Kanti dropped her water bottle as Malaki walked over for chow.

Malaki riding beautifully

My sweet guy Fred

The farm brings me so much joy. Today I felt the pain of the loss of my soon to be gone friend, Fred. I knew it may happen, Bob told me from the beginning.  I talk to him and he tells me how difficult it is to run a business and be a good person too.  Cathy said that Bob was so fair and waited so long before he had to make the decision to let Fred go.  She said that she has been through so much of the loss of horses over the past few years.  I feel like such a little kid.  So naive. I imagined as an almost 50 years of my life that I would be able to face death better. Lost my love, Mom and the sweet kitties that have painfully left this world should have helped me prepare for these moments.  But Im not even close.  I went for my ride today first then immediatly told Bob I was headed over to hang out with Fred.  He offerened me a ride down there in the ATV.  He knew I was feeling terrible and was going to mourne the loss of this sweet guy.  I feel so helpless.  I am.
Well any way he asked if he could drive me down in the vehicle because he needed to drive the horses out of the field and back to the boarder barn.  Maggie usually gets them movin back to the barn but today they wouldnt budge. Chester was leashed to the ATV and he ran in the front of the ATV to learn from Maggie how to help out with the farm.  So Bobby was driving the ATV leashing the new dog and steering on the frozen dirt road.

We had to stop at the small shelter to drive the horses out.  Bob saw the 8 or so  horses wouldnt budge. He had to get out and yell at them.  It was kinda of exciting.  It reminded me of the Uncle Alfred with the cows. Bobby was compaining that the horses were acting dumb. Well I reminded him that horses are smart compared to the jerky way cows act when you need to move them around.
Anyway I went and spend my last moments with my sweet guy My intention was to make his life on the farm no matter what happened a better experience. I knew I was get my heart broken.
CONSIDER IT BROKEN.
He was so sweet.  He loved that  he knew I was coming for him and only him. The other horses saw me coming to the little barn where Fred lives. They see me spend time with him only.  I hope Fred saw that too.  I have a little angel in heaven.  xoxo Thankyou for letting me be your friend for a little while.  Ill always remember you because you were my first horse friend.
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I was able to go to the grocery store in Littleton center to get carrots. Funny I got some bananas, apples and bread. It worked out. That store is nice I think Ill get my fruit and vegtables there for a while.  Then I jumped in the my car and sped off to the barn.  All the horses were out when I got there. I went over to Bob at the window.  I asked him about Fred. He said "Hes going out Monday" I waited for a couple of minutes and asked him where he was going. I was so nervous. I knew there wasnt a happy life for Fred.  He said, "To the slaughter house".  It freaked me out. I think it was tough love.  I cant think of anything to say to that.   He doesnt have to explain to me that its too hard to take care of him.  He has a hard time taking care of all the other horses.  My god I dont know how he does it.  I pray for him too.  Hes afraid that someoen will get hurt trying to save this sweet guy.  I suppose to be talking about the ride not poor sweet Fred. . .
Ok so Bobby said that Kanti was out with Bogie and she would meet me soon. I could see the ride coming back. It was loaded with some children that looked experienced.  Kanti was so happy.
We hugged and then we went to get in the area for the next ride.
Sarah was happy to see me and Cassie was on the ride too. I saw Cathy with Taboo brushing and caring for him.  She decided to come for a ride.  Kanti and her are friends.  She was telling stories to Kanti about learning to ride by not using reins. I know it sounded great to Kanti.  Hershey was in front of me and a younger girl was on Tulsa but she seemed to boss Tulsa around too much. The lady on Hershey was heavy set but very kind and happy with Hershey.  Bogie behind me didnt make a problems for Malaki.  We went into the trails and Malaki.  While catching up Malaki went into a quick step to catch up.  It excited me. He seems to be very obidient when I was reining him on the trail. There was one moment when Taboo came too close to him and he bite Hershey's butt. Im not sure if he made contact but I dont  think its a good idea to mess with Hershey. So I backed him off. We trotted 3 times.  At the beginning in the middle and the end near the bridge.  It was a great ride. Sarah took us off trail again to avoid the ice. Im not sure how long it will be not too mushy to take the horses so close to the river. Today it made me feel a little nervous.  Sarah loves it though.  Cathy and Kanti had a great ride together talking it was pretty cool to hearl. I was in another world thinking about Fred and how lucky I am but how sad and tragic it is also.  Im not exactly sure if I should do something. I could pay money to keep him but am I just prolonging the end for the sweet guy. Its hard enough to have to do these things with out me interferring.  Im so sorry and sad. He was sweet to me. He is a lovely stallion with a nice disposition as far as I can tell.